The Epic of Little Ben

Monday, October 11, 2004


Weeeell well well,
New year; new line of posts. Just got home from Earnest rehersal and I can tell you right now, it's going to be a great show. Thought I'd get back in the habit of posting even though I never really had the "habit" to begin with. This is the ice-pick breaking through the frozen barrier of internet silence, so don't expect too much. In fact, don't expect anything at all. Dinner!

Friday, July 16, 2004

Right as rain.

Why Spider-Man is the Worst Superhero Boyfriend

A rebuttle to Mallory's "Reasons Why Mary-Jane is the Worst Superhero's Girlfriend".  You might have to think hard about a couple of these.
1.  His insistence on never asking directions.
2.  The way he leaves his web in the sink...and elsewhere.
3.  His renowned, trusty "Spidey Sense" never seems to tingle on anniversaries or your birthday.
4.  After each date, it takes a week to get that gamey spandex smell out of your clothes.
5.  He rolls out the "bitten by a radioactive spider" sob story every time he's busted for peeing on the toilet seat.
6.  There's the small matter "spider's butt-crack".
7.  He regularly uses the "no pockets in my costume" excuse to stick you with the check.
8.  The one spider power you never signed on for - his arachniflatulence.
9.  By day he sells photos of Spider-Man in action to the local newspaper, but by night he's selling photos of Spider-Man getting it on with you on the internet.
10.  Whenever you make plans for a weekend of antiquing in the country, some archvillain invariably threatens to blow up a nearby orphanage. 
11.  Whenever he takes you to a concert, you can bet your sweet ass you'll be in the nosebleed section.
12.  That (AHEM!) adverse sexual side effect to his habit of dangling upside down for hours, with the blood rushing to his head.
13.  You wouldn't think so, but he really sucks at charades.

Note: This blog was written during a furious bout of PMS (Pissy Male Syndrome) while listening to Radiohead (which should come with a warning from the Surgeon General).  This post should therefore be completely disregarded.
This time, I am not going to let it get the best of me.  This is going to be a short recap of what was in the lost post.  I've been a little bit down lately just because of a mix of lack of productive activity (aka a job) and anxiety over my relationship with Claire.  Don't get me wrong, things are generally good, but I feel like I'm putting more into this relationship than she is.  She has yet to make a decision more important than where to sit.  I am always left with the decision of where to go and when.  This creates a whole bunch of anxiety on my part.  She also tends to faun over other guys right in front of me, which brings about feelings of jealousy etc.  I also often feel somewhat ignored, for one reason or another, to the point where I feel like I might break down and cry like a girly-man.  I talked to her about it a bit, and she said she felt awful about it (in a very sincere way).  That helped a great deal.  However, sometimes I feel like I'm putting a lot into the relationship and not quite getting enough in return.  Is this selfish of me?  I dunno.  Am I worrying too much?  Most likely.  Am I at least a little bit frustrated?  You bet your sweet ass. One last bitch: she has never said I love you to me first, I'm always the one who says it first.  Things like that bother me.  I know it sounds like small stuff, but when I keep thinking of the worst possible scenarios over and over in my head, I feel like I'm going crazy.  The reality of it is, I love her to bits, but I could just use some small changes.  I'm also almost 100% certain that she loves me as much as I love her, but I still worry a lot. I attribute a lot of this paranoia to the fact that I haven't been able to spend a good amount of time with her in about a week.  The good news: I'm spending most of tomorrow with her and I'm sure things will be right as rain.  A follow-up post is assured.  Ciao.
P.S. My apologies for this turning into a bitching post, it wasn't originally, but the internet decided to change that. 
P.P.S. I need a haircut.

I think it may have done it again.  The blog website ate my post.  I am going to put a bullet in it's head.

Sunday, July 04, 2004


This better work this time; for the last 4 days my browser has denied me the ability to post to my blog, friggin commies...I practically had a chapter of my life written down and the cold vastness of the internet decided it was time to be symbolic and ate it. Oh well, c'est la ve. I wish I was more inspired to chronicle my life on this mindless machine, but the words aren't really flowing. So I sit here, with a chocolate chip cookie and glass of milk to match slowly digesting in my stomach. Twist and Shout (which is the last thing I feel like doing right now) by the Beatles is downloading equally as slowly.
New paragraphs help sometimes... Today was excellent. Utter laziness in the mornning, Claire, Ashkahn and Allison in the afternoon, and Ashkahn and Shawshank Redemption in the evening. So I sit here, catching up with cohorts, and with the knowledge of having absolutely nothing to do tomorrow but with the feeling that whatever happens, it'll be good. I also have the feeling that even if my life becomes a total bore, there's always Italy in a couple weeks. This post really isn't as insightful as my last one, but I don't feel like trying to recap what was written and lost. Oh vell... I think that's gonna be it for now, sorry to disappoint. Cheers mates.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

The stupid blog website isn't working and it completely ate my last post. Fuck technology.


I really don't feel like posting at ALL, but there's only one way to get this online journal off the ground. Sorry for not posting the last week, everytime I feel like posting I'm no where near my computer; everytime I'm at my computer, nothing comes to mind. Some friends recently told me that they never know exactly how I'm feeling because I don't speak my mind too often about personal matters. The truth is, I hate complaining. I find it's one of the most annoying things out there. To that point, I shy away from complaining about personal things. I do realize, however, that a certain level of complaining is healthy. I also find that most of the time I'm quite content with how things are going and don't feel the need to talk about it. So, that's where I'm coming from, but I'll try to be more open in the future. I don't want to end up being the kid who never lets anyone know what's really going on until someone asks, and then I throw a book/cat at them.

And now for something completely different: My summer is coming along quite nicely. My laziness is aging like a fine wine in oak barrels. Things with Claire are going very well but I find that I constantly keep checking myself to make sure I'm being a good boyfriend. That creates a sort of hesitation on my part, which ends up not being so good. I do this sort of weird thing that I keep comparing myself to her, which I know is definately NOT good. She just seems to have so much going for her this summer with ACT and Wingspread and all and I feel like I'm just sitting on my ass at home doing nothing (which isn't even the case, I've been really active this summer, just not with organized classes and whatnot). I know I'm being paranoid, but I just want to make sure that I'm good enough for her (which sounds like I'm putting her on too much of a pedestal, but I really don't want to be deadweight in the relationship). This is all coming out strangely, the reality is actually a much milder degree of this. All in all, I couldn't ask for more.

Anywho, the last week has been a blast. I've made almost countless trips to SF for all sort of reasons. The most notable has been the never-ending quest to get Ashkahn's passport renewed. We made an appointment for him a couple weeks ago and made a trip up there just to see if he could get anything done before his appoint (of course, we couldn't) Most recently, we stayed with his cousin, Neima, up in the city and went to the passport office in the morning. Neima is great, really artistic and hilarious. He's 18 but looks like he's about 32, I kid you not. We watched 2001: A Space Odyssey into the wee hours of the night, and I tell you, I STILL don't get that movie. I caught the whole monolith being the unknown, having fear = being human, our own tools will destroy us, etc. but the whole plot is really lacking, in my opinion. Stan could have at least throw in some celebrity cameos and maybe some porn for good measure. Ohhh vell... As it turns out, Ashkahn STILL couldn't get his passport because he needed a parent in attendance. I tried to pass as his 51-year-old Persian father, but the feds didn't take the bait. I took the train back all by my lonesome and spent the rest of the day in the best way possible, with Claire. Bottom line: 'twas a good day.

Today has been utterly non-eventful. We're about to head out for lunch, but I assure you, more will follow. Cheers mateys.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Blogimus Primus

Wellity wellity wellity... First blog in a whole DYNASTY of blogs. Well, ok, maybe not, but this is a start. Today I have done absolutely NOTHING, and it has been a blazing ball of glory. My grandma left at around 11, constituting the highlight of my day so far. Anywho, I just wanted to get this first blog up (more shall be posted later today when I've actually done something. For those of you who are wondering, I DID have another blog at That one seemed to become a bit stagnant over the months and I decided it was time for a new look. That being said, I should take a showever before I start attracting flies. Peace out.